self doubt

idk what to do anymore. what if things sort of change. what if it changes the fact that you wouldn't be there anymore and you've chosen a different path. is that why you made it very clear that you never asked me to do what im doing? i can't stop something thats going to change if i don't know whats going to happen. what if i do, and it doesn't end the way i want it to? what if this whole time you already know that it would never happen knowing that fact that theres a big chance things could dramatically change for me in a few years? are you relying on that? i wonder if theres nothing left and i proved the fact that it hasn't changed at all like i said it wouldn't, will you decide to take that chance again? when you do finally find the answer and have chosen what you want in the future i hope you'll tell me. even if its either good or bad news. i still want to know. life is about risk. but should i take this one or should i walk pass it and never turn back?