...

its been quiet lately. sometimes thats good but it seems like ppl are being ungrateful about whats been given to them. does it really matter how its being done ? all that matters is the fun rite?
+ it seems like i've been kept in the dark bout things. thats fine. but don't try so hard to prevent me from finding out. cause it makes you look guilty

veteran's day

six hours. really tiring. but it was funny. hehes "cheeseburger" ohhh and "make friends" lol. hilarious. tiring day once again.


i wasn't as happy like i thought i would be. i don't know why. its like ur in ur own world tat im not part of anymore. its not that im being secretive. i don't fit in to ur world anymore and im tryin so hard to fit you in mine. i know you see it too. its not the same. and i was right bout tat. nowadays it'll always be using the word, "my friend"

angry. confused angry

i really don't get it. why does it feel so different now? talk less. such awkward conversations. what you say that won't change is changing. its too late now. if you've found it then you should go live your life and you don't have to feel like u owe me anything. don't feel guilty don't feel bad. i don't need that. i don't even want that. dont' stay cause of that. i'd rather not.

eh

"Many things catches your Eyes, try to get it.But one thing catches your Heart ...Pursue it.. "
i guess whatever happens happens. but yet rite now im still clueless and confused to what it is now.

realization

you have no idea what all of this is doing to me. you seriously have no clue at all. i didn't think there would be a day where you wouldn't wait til i leave home then you would go. but that day came. i didn't think you would conversate but that day came. you didn't even tell me. did you not see the look on my face when i found out? or should you have looked in the mirror to see urs? i hate wen ppl do that. you didn't even plan on saying anything. even if its jst innocent. i never knew that day will come where you acted like im a nobody. until yesterday and that day actually came. long time ago way before december 20 you treated me so differently. what happened. do you not see the differences between those days and the days before october 4? you wanted to watch me be happy while you suffer? i think its happening to the opposite ppl. you want me to be happy and yet im suffering even more. and for some reason yu want to suffer but yet you seem happier than ever. maybe because you got what you wished for. because last month on that day, i saw a guilty and the most saddest person ever, that day i couldn't even allow myself to be sad but i was the one that was suppose to be. but now, there isn't any sign of guiltiness or sadness at all. i knew that day wouldn't last.

a never ending reality

i really don't know what i need. i just know that right now its not it. i hate the "right now". i just know that its not working for me. if theres anything else to add to this misery, i would'nt be able to stand it. this is unhealthy. i am unhealthy. and yet you ask me if im opposite of what i am now. which meant you had no clue what was going on. clueless to the point where you think i am at the most joyous point of my life.
i don't even know if its even possible for me to be at the point ever. but i have ppl around me to help me. Gen, impatient, etc they're all great ppl. yet they have no idea what to do either. all they could say is it'll be fine. it'll take more than "it'll be fine" to get pass w/e this is. but its a good start.
ty

just a gloomy day (:

Colbie Cailat-Realize
digging the song (:

The End

Varsity-Right Back Where I Started
you can't have it both ways and you can't always have it the way you want it to.
there no such thing as when i will because i won't ever.

emotionless

Kelly Clarkson-Because of You
music is my best friend <3 because it'll never hurt you, it only eases your pain when you need it.

sigh

Vibekingz and Maliq-This Letter
sad life.