realization

you have no idea what all of this is doing to me. you seriously have no clue at all. i didn't think there would be a day where you wouldn't wait til i leave home then you would go. but that day came. i didn't think you would conversate but that day came. you didn't even tell me. did you not see the look on my face when i found out? or should you have looked in the mirror to see urs? i hate wen ppl do that. you didn't even plan on saying anything. even if its jst innocent. i never knew that day will come where you acted like im a nobody. until yesterday and that day actually came. long time ago way before december 20 you treated me so differently. what happened. do you not see the differences between those days and the days before october 4? you wanted to watch me be happy while you suffer? i think its happening to the opposite ppl. you want me to be happy and yet im suffering even more. and for some reason yu want to suffer but yet you seem happier than ever. maybe because you got what you wished for. because last month on that day, i saw a guilty and the most saddest person ever, that day i couldn't even allow myself to be sad but i was the one that was suppose to be. but now, there isn't any sign of guiltiness or sadness at all. i knew that day wouldn't last.